Like most people, you may think that a perfect relationship is one where each partner takes on their share of the work and the benefits as a 50/50 proposition. For a partnership to last, you may think that couples need to compromise in a relationship so that everything is “fair” to each person.

Yet, as couples therapists for over 40 years, we’ve found this almost never to be the case. When we ask couples, “What percentage of the work are you doing in your relationship?” their answer is rarely 50 percent.

So, in this sense, it cannot be “fair.”

Why 50/50 relationships don’t work

You want your relationship to be fair because you don’t want to feel used or exploited. You don’t want to give up too much. After all, you get into a relationship to have an equal partnership. So, you ask yourself, “What will I give up to get what I want?”

This is where compromise in a relationship can become problematic. You are two people with different emotions, thoughts, opinions, and perspectives.

If you feel you must compromise and expect your partner to compromise the same amount, but they don’t think you or they should have to, resentment can soon build and fester.

RELATED: Couples Who Share These 8 Core Values Have The Happiest, Healthiest Relationships

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