I have a soft spot for bad boys.
I can’t help falling for the swaggering jerks at any given party, nightclub or beach resort.
My dad says my dating history looks like the roll call from the Chamber of Horrors.
I’m just emerging from yet another bruising experience.
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My last lover seemed okay at the start. He was charming, exciting and attractive (as my men always are) but then he ran into cash flow problems. He tried to borrow money from my friends, then he disappeared for months.
I thought he was working out in Dubai when he was actually running a dodgy business just 50 miles from here.
Eventually I was told he was sleeping with two other women – one of them a rich 70-year-old.
I tried to dump him and he got nasty. In the end, my dad gave him money to go away and I’m still paying it back. Humiliating.
At the moment, I’m being wooed by a lovely guy at work. He’s straightforward and decent. I know that he adores me.
We’ve been out on a few dates and spent one night together, but he does nothing for me. Despite his smile, there is no grit or spark.
Sex with him is like slipping into a tepid bath, whereas I need fireworks and red hot lava.
I’m already casting around for a rogue I can get my teeth into.
There’s a guy who drinks down our local who looks mean and moody and I feel drawn to him.
Why am I like this? I’m from an ordinary family. Neither of my sisters feel the need to dance with the devil – only me.
JANE SAYS: You deny yourself lasting stability and respect every time you turn your back on a decent guy.
Okay, maybe your adoring colleague is a little wet, but at least he’s honest and kind. He’s never going to rip you off or let you down.
You may view bad guys as a challenge but where will this end? Are you still going to be chasing rogues at 80?
I worry that you’re going to look back one day and ask: “Where did my life go? What have I achieved?”
You’re never going to save or cure these rats, so stop trying. You can’t start a relationship with your colleague if you don’t fancy him but surely you could give other nice guys a chance to prove themselves?
They may just surprise you. Alternatively, force yourself to take time out from dating to get your head together.
Maybe you need to talk to a health professional about why you self-sabotage and make the same mistakes. What are you hurtling towards or running from?
You clearly invest a lot of time and energy in your edgy relationships but wouldn’t that energy be better used elsewhere?
What provision have you made for the future? How much energy are you putting into your job, your home and your true friends and family?