Make him swoon.
When you’re figuring out how to get a guy to like you and fall for you, you need to know what attracts and stirs his heart.
Whether you’re single, dating, or in a relationship, there’s a big chance you want at least one man — maybe, a very specific one — to fall deeply (or deeper) in love with you.
Falling in love is a wonderful feeling. This kind of desire is beautiful, healthy, and very natural.
We, women, are loving creatures. We’re connected to our hearts and we treasure the experience of being loved by a man.
Unfortunately, most women lack the understanding of how men fall in love and what makes them stay in love. Worse still, a lot of women act in ways that directly sabotage their chance to attract and mesmerize a man that they would like to seduce.
We deeply long to attract and keep him. Yet, our actions often drive him away.
When I was in my 20s, I really loved dating.
A big part of the excitement for me was the preparation for each date — doing my hair, makeup, and dressing up nicely for the man I was about to meet. I would always give myself a lot of time to make myself look extra special, to play with different versions of my look, and to try on different outfits and shoes.
And I was doing all that because I felt that I needed to show him the sexiest, gorgeous, and most attractive version of myself so he would fall in love with me. Otherwise, he would surely and promptly leave.
As I reflect on it now, I wasn’t giving these men a lot of credit and had clearly no faith that they would notice, recognize, or appreciate my deeper qualities.
To add insult to injury, I felt that I needed to guess what kind of a woman he wanted me to be and I tried to embody that kind of personality — I needed to enjoy specific things, to show him that I spent my time in particular ways and shared his opinions, views, and hobbies.
Obviously, there’s nothing wrong with dressing up and looking nice. Men are typically very visual and love looking at beautiful women.
But what I was lacking was a deeper understanding of men, human nature, and how to make someone fall in love with you.
You see, men love having sex with women who arouse their desire. But, they fall in love with women who intrigue them and who touch them on a profound level. And pretty looks, short skirts or even push-up bras cannot create that kind of attraction.
With that said, here are 3 surprising ways to get a guy to like you and fall for you hard.
1. Your passion
A woman who is deeply passionate about something is charismatic and profoundly attractive to a man.
And it doesn’t usually matter what her passion is — it can be playing the cello or collecting Tupperware. He will find it exciting or even mesmerizing to witness her indulging in her passion or talking about something that gives her so much joy, something that she immerses herself in completely.
The reason why so many women get this wrong is that we’re conditioned to be pleasers. When a woman wants to impress a guy, she’ll adopt his passions and activities.
But men see through this, lose attraction, and walk away.
So, instead of bending yourself backward to show him that the two of you are alike, express yourself truly and authentically, pour your attention into what you love and what makes your heart sing.
I assure you that he will notice and admire your passion.
2. Your authenticity
Most women deeply desire to be in a relationship, they want to love someone and to be loved in return.
In order to achieve that, they might be willing to sacrifice their own views, opinions, and dreams if these are not aligned with decisions or views of the man they have an eye on.
But what men typically find attractive is a woman who is fiercely committed to what she believes in and who won’t bend to please others.
We all need to be open to negotiation and a change of plans from time to time. But, if you want him to stay by your side, show him that you have a spine and that you can make choices for yourself.
3. Your femininity
Our culture encourages women to be successful, independent and career-driven. We value results, efficiency, fast pace, and hard work.
But, the essence of a woman is to flow, to be connected to her feelings and her heart, instead of only living in her head.
Women are usually softer than men, more emotional and go through cyclical changes aligned with their hormones and feelings. They’re intuitive and not always reasonable. To deny that aspect of a woman is to deny her true nature.
Let go of the need to adhere to society’s standards and show him your feminine essence.
Now you know how to make a man fall in love with you and what your relationship needs to ensure he will stay in love.
The attraction between sexes is based on the polarity between masculine and feminine qualities. The more different we are, the more we attract each other.
Men don’t always understand a woman’s complexity and sensitivity but they’re always mesmerized by it.
So, my dear modern woman, before you head out on your next date, do a bit of soul searching first. Be honest with yourself about who you are, what you’re passionate about, and what you believe in when it comes to love and relationships.
Look at yourself in the mirror and give yourself a knowing smile — a smile of a woman who knows her depth, passion, and authentic beauty.
Find confidence in knowing your worth as a human being. Find the courage to express your true self and your feminine essence to every man you come across.
And then, my dear, that man you want will not be able to take his eyes off of you.
Helena Nista is a sex therapist, intimacy coach & Tantra practitioner. She is also a certified somatic counselor and sex educator
This article was originally published at helenanista.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.