Get back to where you were.
During the marriage ceremony, the couple confesses that they will stay with each other until forever… that’s all. However, this is not the case with all couples. According to the statistics, the marriage rate in the United States is 6.9 per 1,000 population, while the divorce rate is 3.2 per 1,000 population.
Furthermore, studies show that the relationship satisfaction among many couples keeps on decreasing after the marriage.
The same people who confess they cannot live without each other in the marriage are not happy with each other in the long-run. The love between them starts getting colder and they start to fall out of love.
Now, the question is: why do people fall out of love? What are their reasons for falling out of love?
When we ask people this question, we get many answers. Some of the most common reasons for falling out of love are:
- Lack of communication
- Miserable sex life
All of these common reasons are quite true, however, all of them can be sorted out. Is it really a lack of sex or a lack of communication? Actually, neither of these are the number one reason for falling out of love.
The number one reason for falling out of love is simply because we are human beings. Human beings are designed in such a way that they fall out of love.
If human beings are designed to fall out of love, then does it mean that there is no chance of ever having a long-term, satisfying relationship? Although that is the case, it does not mean that every relationship in the world is full of boredom.
However, if the both of you understand the meaning of a real love, then you can fall back in love again, even deeper than before.
Falling out of love and falling back in love are both quite natural, just like the cyclical tides of the oceans. The problem in the relationship starts when a person in the relationship jumps out of the boat.
You may have heard people saying that they were not in love when you ask them about the cause of their breakup. This generally means that the initial stage of their relationship has faded.
Sometimes, the words, such as “we are not in love anymore” sound a bit strange. The same person, who made the other person’s life better, is of no importance now.
Furthermore, the same person has become an annoying person for them. When a person first falls in love, that person wants to spend a lot of time with their partner.
However, as the time passes by, the feeling is not as intense as before. One must understand that every couple goes through this stage, but some manage to hold on to the relationship, while some relationships end.
If you understand that the process of falling out of love is quite normal, there is a better chance of having a sustainable relationship or a marriage. It is because once you understand that falling out of love is quite normal, you can learn to sustain real love, even after falling out of it.
So, how do you reignite the feelings of love and keep the fire of love burning? Here are some of the ways to keep the fires of love burning in the heart of your partner.
1. Understand the true meaning of love.
Many people develop the concept of love based upon the fairytale love story. However, that concept of love is not true in real life. It’s not only the job of your partner to make you feel alive.
In fact, there is a role for both partners. The best way to experience real love is by giving more. There is a separate joy in making others happy and giving them joy.
Support your partner when they are in trouble and do not only focus on materialistic gifts to make them happy. After you truly experience the joy of giving, then you will slowly understand the real meaning of love.
2. Practice gratitude and spread a positive message.
Many people have the tendency to focus only on the things that they do not like about their partner. This gradually degrades their relationship, which could lead to a breakup or a divorce.
Instead of always focusing on the negative side of a partner, real love can be experienced when we practice gratitude and focus on the positive aspects of having them as a partner.
Practice saying “thank you” or writing a letter of gratitude and consistently tell them how blessed you are to have them as your partner. This will reignite the feeling of love once again.
3. Open your heart.
After facing the feelings of rejection, hurt, shame, and being abandoned in the past, the person often does not open their heart. However, the only way to reignite the feeling of love is to open your heart once again. It takes courage, but it can also give you immense joy.
Being open with a partner leads to a better chance of knowing each other more closely.
There are obviously many reasons for a broken relationship and marriage. However, understanding the number one reason of falling out of love can help a lot in maintaining a sustainable relationship.
Understand that the process of falling out of love is quite natural, but if you follow the pieces of advice above, it increases your chances of having a satisfying relationship.
Donna Begg is an expert editor, a mentor, analyst, and a researcher.