It’s his turn to swoon!
It can be hard to know how to compliment a guy you’re dating. I know that sounds a little silly, but think about it. When was the last time you successfully paid a compliment to any man without it becoming weird? And your boyfriend or husband, he definitely counts, just so we’re clear.
I have a hard enough time knowing which compliments to give the men in my life who are just friends or colleagues, so you should see how bad it gets when it’s my boyfriend, then man I’m in love with, on the receiving end of my complimenting.
When it comes to finding sweet things to say my boyfriend, I tend to stick to telling him how much I love him and what a good dad he is, often stiffly and quite awkwardly. In reality, if I could I’d be telling him how incredibly handsome I think he is every single day, but I always get this funny feeling of reservation when it comes to complimenting him in that way.
As a woman, I find that when someone fixates on complimenting my body or physical appearance, it can feel not just a little bit demeaning.
Men don’t have that kind of history of being objectified, so chances are they wouldn’t be bothered. Still, if we’re trying to create a world where men and women treat each other with equality and respect, then just because a guy likes being told his body just won’t quit, that doesn’t mean you should necessarily do it.
But what’s the alternative? How can you let your male partner know just how into him you are without turning him into an object? What can you say or do to help the man in your life understand just how much he rocks your proverbial socks off without being just as creepy as you accused so many guys on Tinder of being before he came along and swept you off your feet?
When you love someone, or even when you just happen to notice something attractive or kind or commendable about them, it’s hard not to share it. You want to trumpet it from the mountains!
And perhaps more importantly, you want them to know that you truly see them, that you recognize their goodness, and that your appreciation matters enough to you that it’s something you simply need to put into words.
They key to complimenting a guy in a meaningful way — one that won’t just make him feel like a piece of meat — can be found in the depths of the subreddit known as Ask Men.
In that popular Reddit forum, one female redditor recently asked, “What is the best compliment you have ever received?”
The answers men gave make a great guide for anyone out there looking to get their praise on.
So without further ado, here are 21 of the best compliments for men, according to guys themselves.
1. Home is definitely where the heart is.
“My now wife once said while we were dating that ‘You feel like home’.”
2. The eyes have it.
“One time a lady in a store in an airport told me I had beautiful eyes. It was in the middle of a bad trip home from a holiday (I got food poisoning, not fun on a plane). It is the only time in my life I’ve ever received a compliment from a stranger and I couldn’t believe how amazing it made me feel.”
3. Go Daddy!
“When my wife says I’m a good father. My dad walked out on my two sisters and I when I was only two years old, so I’m trying my hardest to be the best father I can be.”
4. Break out the tissues …
“My abusive ex wife got two restraining orders against me and I didn’t see my children for 12 months. These were the hardest 12 months of my life, filled with despair and sorrow.”
“Through family court orders I had to have supervised visits for two hours, once a fortnight, for 6 months, and then a report was written by the supervisor for family court. It was so hard for me to try and be the dad I wanted to be for my kids while only being able to see them for 2 hours a fortnight while someone watched my every move.”
“On my very last supervised visit, after the children had left, the supervisor came up to me and said, ‘I don’t know what happened for you to have to be here, but you are an amazing dad and your children are lucky to have you.’ I then proceeded to ball my eyes out.”
5. Yes, men are beautiful, too.
“When I was 15 a woman who worked with my dad told me I have beautiful eyes! It’s the only time someone told me I’m beautiful, so 11 years on I still cherish that memory.”
6. We all want to feel appreciated.
“A friend in my group pulled me aside and said I’m a really genuine person and that she appreciates me.”
7. Like a fine wine.
“Someone said to me, ‘You are complex without being complicated.'”
8. We’ve got a winner!
“I took a theater class like 2 or 3 years ago. And there was this one girl who I would talk to after class. As in like I would walk her to her car. No real reason, I’m just friendly and talkative dude. She was super cute though (not that that’s relevant). So one day the teacher holds me back after class for like 10 minutes to talk to me about one of my monologue performances. I see everyone left so I’m kinda bummed I wouldn’t get to talk to the girl. But she waited outside for me. I was legitimately shocked and asked her why. She said something like ‘You’re interesting and I like talking to you.’
As someone who regularly gets told they’re really talkative and annoying, it was great to actually meet someone who appreciated conversing.”
9. Who couldn’t use some validation?
“I was once told at work that I could be trusted to handle certain things (in other words, I was competent for those tasks). As someone who sometimes secretly thinks he’s not skilled/competent enough, this meant a lot to me.”
10. Go beneath the surface.
“I am grateful for physical compliments, but ones that go beyond how I keep myself in shape or the face I was born with are much more meaningful. A women once said I had a wonderful way of speaking, it honestly caught me of guard and I was flush for quite some time after.”
11. Although, the physical never hurts (wink wink)
“I’ve been complimented for being hard-working, successful, smart, and things like that. It’s always nice, but I don’t consider those things praise-worthy, because I didn’t do a whole lot to deserve them. It’s who I am. I am not ugly, but also not attractive. As a guy, I’ve been used my whole life to not receiving any compliments about my looks or anything physical. Put all this together, and I used to think that I’m above compliments. They really don’t matter much.”
“That’s until the other day, when my wife asked me to open a jar. It was a particularly hard one, and I was shirtless. So I put all my strength into it, making my muscles pop out. I opened the jar and she said, ‘Wow … that was kinda hot …’ The only real compliment I ever got for anything physical, so rare at a rate of 1 in 50 years, that I will always remember it.”
12. Are you his big brother?
“The time I took my son to get his haircut and the (female) barber didn’t believe that I was old enough to be his dad.”
13. Kindness pays.
“After watching a customer walk around the pastries for 5 minutes he looked at his hand and saw he didn’t have enough money. He was about to walk out and I called him over. I handed him a turkey sandwich and said, ‘Have a nice day.’ He looks at me and said, ‘You made my day. Thank you,’ with the most sincere voice I have heard.”
14. The bigger the better.
“Back in high school I was really scrawny, so scrawny in fact that I was deemed unfit for military service when I reached the age when you otherwise have to enter national service. About a year ago I walked past one of the girls from my high school class, and naturally I said, ‘Hi’ when I recognized her. First words out of her mouth were, ‘You got big’.”
“I am well aware that I am not exactly a giant of a man now, but I still think back on that with a smile.”
15. Nothing like a man and his car.
“Some old guy at the racetrack said he liked my car.”
16. Plain and simple.
“A girl you have a crush on suddenly tells you you’re a good man. Don’t know if I was friend zoned or what, but it felt good.”
17. Creativity at its finest.
“Following a conversation about how she likes my outside-the-box thinking, asking my now fiancée if I tick her boxes, she replied, ‘You tick outside the boxes’.”
18. Kids, amiright?
“The best feeling in the world is driving my car around and having little kids stop in their tracks and give the thumbs up. It’s so much more gratifying than any award or recognition.”
19. It’s all about that inner glow.
“My friends would talk to their friends about me as someone who’s super genuine. Also, a girl told me last week that I looked way better than my photos on Tinder because I have an ‘inner glow’ in real life, which apparently reflects my inner self.”
20. True classics never go out of style.
“Used to work at a grocery store. Was walking towards the back of the store when halfway down an old lady stopped me. I expected that she needed help finding something or she was going to complain about something. Instead, she just wanted to tell me that she thought I had good posture and was handsome. Seventeen-year-old me’s day was made.”
21. So many swoons!
“‘You give me butterflies.’“