If quality time is your husband or boyfriend’s favorite of the 5 love languages, listen up!
One of the greatest self-helps books of our time is Dr. Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.”
According to Dr. Chapman, the 5 love languages are: words of affirmation, quality time, giving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.
Understanding the how to speak someone’s quality time love language can be confusing for those to whom it doesn’t come naturally.
In order for a person whose love language is quality time to feel loved, appreciated, and valued, it’s not only important that two of you spend time together, but that you spend that time in constructive ways that help you grow as a couple and learn more about one other on an ongoing basis.
If quality time is your boyfriend or husband’s primary love language, it’s important to understand what men quality time really means to him. Believe it or not, for men who speak the quality time love language, there’s a wide variety of things they may be more or less interested in doing when they spend time with you.
One of our favorite ways to find our more about what men think and feel is by taking a peek at r/AskMen on Reddit. So it was particularly helpful to see how men responded when a redditor asked this question: “What is your love language? How can your partner best show their love through it?”
We sorted through the answers men gave so we could offer you a better sense of what ranks highest for men who prefer the quality time love language.
Check out these honest explanations of what men think spending quality time together really means.
1. Quality time is about making each other a top priority.
“Time is a precious commodity with there never being enough time in the day to do everything I want to. For me to make the time to spend with someone or for them to make the time to spend with me is a big deal, no matter what we do with that time.”
2. Quality time pairs especially well with some physical touch.
“Quality time, when in context of physical touch is a no brainer. The fact she wants to spend time with me just gets me giddy.”
3. Quality can be best spent experiencing new things and having fun together.
“I would love to do fun things with my girlfriend. Like, have new experiences together. I would love to learn to cook a new dish together, take dance classes together, travel to Spain together, and just talk to each other while focusing on each other, no distractions.”
4. Quality time is about focusing on him.
“Just make time and want to be around me and focus on me.”
5. Quality time is pretty simple.
“Quality time almost tied with physical touch. Easiest way to show you care is to spend time with me.”
6. Quality time is all about attention.
“Cuddles, pats and a bit of attention. Super simple.”
7. Quality time should happen often, no matter how you spend it.
“Be all about just being around me. Don’t be out with your friends or at your parents all the time. My last ex was at her parents at least once a week, and got annoyed that I would only go sometimes. Like, I like your family and all, but I don’t need to see them once a week, just like I knew she would have absolutely put her foot down and said no if I asked her to go see my mom every single Saturday. It’s our day off, how about we just snuggle on the couch and watch some TV/a movie? Who only wants one single day/week with their partner?”
8. Quality time is all about being in the moment.
“You should never get so caught up with making future plans that you forget the importance of the moment. Right now is solid and real. Tomorrow is less certain. Every one who dies always has a list of things they were gonna do eventually and I’m sure I will too. My goal is to make the list I leave behind the last in a chain of completed adventures.”
9. Quality time matters more than money.
“Partnered with an amazing woman. Making well less than half what I did before, but in a lifestyle that leaves me with extra cash every check, a growing savings, more time for my children, and an entire focus on quality. When people approach me for work or consulting, I quote a very high figure. It makes them walk away because they don’t want to pay what my quality time is worth. When I don’t like a job and it’s invading inappropriately on my quality time, I quit and find a new one.”
10. Quality time is best spent at home together.
“I would much rather spend the night in with my girlfriend than stay late at work making overtime pay. Advancing my career works in tandem with my relationship and not ahead of it.”
11. Quality time doesn’t always require words.
“Try sitting on a bench, just enjoying the air, wind, smells … no words necessary. Or eat a meal without a word. It’s not awkward, if you try it it’s really not. You can experience the sound of surroundings, communicate just by smiles and eye expressions. It really builds a connection when you don’t have to verbally comment on everything.”
12. Quality time is especially great for homebodies.
“I dated a woman that would sit in the same room as me and work on her computer, and I’d work on mine. And every now and then I’d get up to refill my drink, wrap my arms around her, give her a big hug and kiss, and then go refill and come back, slide my hand across her shoulders on the way back, and everyone was happy. Seven hours of that, we’ve said five words, verbally. I could be around her all day almost every day and not get drained.”
13. Quality time is a great opportunity to discover new things together.
“We started going to bad movies together at the dollar cinema and making fun of them together. We also discovered adult night at the science museum where it was social and interactive which she enjoyed, but I also got to teach someone about the awesomeness of science which satisfied me.”
14. Quality time doesn’t have to cost you anything.
“We lay on the floor and eat chips and talk about all sorts of stuff, big and small.”
15. Quality time doesn’t always have to be spent in person.
“I text my girlfriend every morning we are apart and call her every day as I’m leaving work so we can chat on my drive home.”