Nadia Bokody believes it’s “natural” for humans to cheat.
The Australian writer has been unfaithful in the past and “deeply regrets” it.
Even though monogamy may not be in our DNA, the sexpert doesn’t think it’s “acceptable” to go behind your partner’s back.
In a first-person piece for news.com.au, Nadia wrote: “Our desire to have sex with people other than our spouse is as innate as the urge to breathe.
“If it weren’t, sites dedicated to extramarital affairs, like AshleyMadison.com, wouldn’t be home to an exploding population of over 60 million users, nor would a 2015 YouGov study have discovered one in five of us have been unfaithful (and, let’s be real here, that’s just the ones who are actually fessing up to it)…
“Does this make acting on it acceptable? Of course not.”
Even though Nadia cheated on an ex, she’s not going to keep guilt-tripping herself about the brief “lapse in judgement”.
The writer pointed out that shaming people for affairs often isn’t enough to stop them from straying.
She explained: “The shame and venom reserved especially for those of us who lapse in moral judgment has historically done very little to dissuade people from embarking on affairs, and it’s illogical…
“This is all not to say I don’t regret my own infidelity. I do, deeply. It exerted immeasurable agony on my partner and eradicated the trust that had blossomed over the course of our relationship.”
Nadia has decided to stop obsessing over her infidelity.
She added: “Several years on – while I still wish I could go back and undo the pain those few moments of selfish passion caused – I no longer carry the shame I held onto, years after the relationship dissolved.
“Not because I think cheating is OK (I don’t), but because I don’t believe it’s an offence worthy of a lifetime of punishment.”