Hooooold up, take a deep breath, and honestly answer these before you say ‘I do’.

By Brittany Taylor

You’ve been together forever. Moving to the “next level” is clearly on the horizon, yet… those doubts have been bubbling just below the surface for as long as you can remember.

 Is this the guy you’re meant to spend forever after with? 

Before he pops the question (um, or before you say yes, only to have regrets later), take a breather and listen up. Here are the four questions you should ask yourself, according to the relationship gurus.

Don’t get married until you ask yourself these four questions:

1. Am I saying “Yes” to him—or to a fantasy?

You’ve watched enough Say Yes to the Dress to have gotten a taste of that grand bridal salon experience. But because women in the U.S. are often raised on happily-ever-after stories that end with a couple riding off into the sunset, we tend to aim for that sunset rather than carefully considering the relationship that comes before and, most importantly, after it, says Dr. Amelia Romanowsky, a clinical psychologist.

She cautions women to first determine whether they’ve left the “honeymoon phase” of the relationship. “Only as partners move from the first phase of fantasy to more knowledge of their partner do they start to realize that love is a lot about moving from disconnection to repair,” Romanowsky shares.

Have you had—and respectfully resolved—a disagreement? Have you talked about what you both want out of your futures? If not, task yourself with figuring out how you’ll handle those real-life issues before you sign up for the long haul.

RELATED: 2 Shockingly Simple Rules For A Peaceful, Long-Lasting Marriage

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