Are you thinking about hiring a dating coach to help you find love?
Do you find yourself sayings things like, “Finding my life partner should not be this hard!” or, “My friends met their spouse naturally. Why is this not happening for me?“
You’re not alone.
When I turned 40, I was frustrated with the dating merry-go-round and truly wanted to be married with a family.
So I hired a dating coach who was also a relationship expert, and it was the best move I ever made! (Besides marrying my husband, that is.)
Dating takes a methodical approach — that’s why hiring a dating coach is so helpful.
Different coaches help different areas of life when you want to accomplish things like finding a new job, losing 20 pounds, or learning a new skill.
Hiring a dating coach is a step-by-step process. This is the person you’re going to trust with one of the most important decisions in your life.
Don’t take the decision casually, since this move impacts your future happiness. You really need to think about it.
Here are 10 things you must know before hiring a dating coach.
1. Various coaches have varying credentials and training.
When you’re looking to hire a dating coach, are they a certified professional coach recognized by the International Coach Federation (ICF), a social worker, or LCSW?
Where did they go through their training and for how long?
Did they get their training from a reputable program recognized by a reputable organization? And what’s required to keep this credential?
As an ICF-credentialed coach, I have to have 40 hours of continued education within a three-year timeframe.
Unfortunately, anyone can call themselves a “coach.” Some matchmakers call themselves coaches after three days of training and getting a “certification.”
As coaches and counselors, we are required to work with our own coach and have supervision. Most reputable coaching programs take at least a year’s time.
So before you consider hiring a dating coach, find out the extent of their coach training.
2. What is their experience — both personal and professional?
When I wanted to hire a dating coach, I looked for someone who had a successful marriage, experience, and wisdom.
I found an experienced coach who had been running a well-known coaching program for singles and came highly recommended.
If you want to get married, then find someone who is married or has been married. Some very good coaches are widowed or divorced, and they can share their own perspectives.
My coach was divorced and remarried, which gave me hope.
There are 30-something relationship coaches who are also married. Honestly, I’d like to see them 10 years from now.
Are they still married? How is their relationship now that children may be in the picture?
What kind of work experiences has that coach had? How does that add to the overall coaching experience? And what would be a good fit for you?
I tend to attract people who are self-employed or have a desire to be so, as I’ve owned my own companies for over 30 years.
The single entrepreneur has some unique circumstances, and I’ve helped my clients with their businesses on their way to finding true love, too!
3. Find a proven system and create a plan.
Coaching is about setting life goals, looking at what’s getting in the way, and charting a path based on goals and core values. There’s a specific agenda for each coaching session that will move you closer to your goal.
During my divorce, I sought out a therapist who helped me process my loss and get the support I needed to move forward. However, for dating, something was missing.
There was no direction to the sessions, and I felt like I was running in circles.
Then, I met a coach who had a specific program and an approach that resonated with me. I felt like I was finally moving forward and beyond some limiting beliefs that were holding me back.
I completed the program with a game plan and hired the dating coach privately to get support around implementing the plan. This was critical to my success in meeting my husband!
4. Look at what’s included in the coaches’ full coaching package.
What other benefits are included in the entire coaching package? Is there a peer community to give you additional support? Is there a Facebook Group? A membership group to get feedback and ideas?
Do you get access to the coaches’ online coaching program? Do you get invited to workshops or retreats? What other services do you get?
5. How accessible is your coach?
Do you have access to your coach between sessions? What if something happens and you need to talk? Can you do so through phone, email, or text?
When you hire a dating coach, knowing that your coach is fully there for you for support is very important.
6. Look at their proven track record.
Does the coach have many success stories? Have they had success with someone similar to you? Think: Age, marital status, ethnicity, religion, gender, educational level, etc.
How long have they been coaching and how many clients have they supported?
Also, how does the coach define success for the client?
For me, a good outcome is clarity and a better sense of goals. If a client tells me that they’re clear that they want to get married and have a family, when they may have been unsure before, that’s a success!
When a client has not been dating at all and is meeting eligible people for dating, that’s also a success.
Only the client can define what success looks like.
7. Look at their reputation.
When looking to hire a coach, reputation is very important for both online and in your personal social network.
Does your coach have a favorable reputation? What are others saying about them?
Just know that there are different styles of coaching, and only you know what is right for you.
However, with any grapevine hearsay, make up your own mind based upon your personal experience with the coach.
Many coaches will offer you a complimentary strategy or coaching session, so you can experience first-hand their coaching style.
Make your own judgment, rather than relying on someone else’s opinion.
8. Know how much you’re investing.
Each coach has their own pricing schedule and packages. Make sure you know what’s included for the price, how many sessions, and for how long you’re committing to the coaching package.
Make sure you’re comparing similar coaching packages.
For example, I’ve seen a wide range of prices for six months of coaching from $3,000 to $16,000, depending on where the coach is located and the kind of clients they coach.
Most coaches offer payment plans for those who want to spread the payments out over time. Usually, the payment plan costs a bit more than the full pay package rate.
Many coaches also offer six-hour coaching packages that are less robust and VIP coaching packages that will jump-start your dating.
All in all, find out what’s included and all the bonuses, as well. That way, you can compare what you’re investing in.
However, one-on-one coaching is what most people consider when they want to hire a dating coach.
9. Do you have a good rapport?
One of the most important considerations when hiring a dating coach is your rapport with them.
Do you like this person? Do you trust them? Do they know their stuff and seem credible?
How do they make you feel? Are you supported and cared for?
Different people have different needs. Can the coach accommodate those needs? And are you able to communicate what you need from the coach?
I ask my clients, “What do you need from me as your coach?” If a coach doesn’t ask that question, that’s a red flag!
You would most likely have a sample or complimentary coaching session with the coach to tell if you feel this is the right person for you.
It’s like dating. You know when it’s right. However, sometimes, I don’t know and I’m pleasantly surprised when a client who “needs time to think about it” comes back and wants to coach with me.
10. Find out what other skills and abilities the coach brings to the table.
Many coaches have had past careers and skills that they bring to the coaching relationship.
I owned a clothing boutique for 13 years and also had an image-consulting business, as well. I was also trained in color and makeup.
So now, I help my clients look their best for their dating life and put their best foot forward online.
What else does your coach bring to the coaching relationship? Where can you find the kind of coach you’re seeking to hire?
When I hired my dating coach, I had been divorced for about five years, struggled with finding the right person, and was 40 years old.
He had all the right stuff for me. I truly don’t know if I’d be married to my husband if it wasn’t for moving forward with hiring him.
Only you can decide who’s the right coach for you.
If you take these 10 things into consideration when looking for a dating coach, then you’ll be in good hands.
Your goals will move forward, and you will better your chances of finding your forever spouse!
Amy Schoen is a D.C.-based national expert in dating and relationship life coaching. If you’re ready to stop spinning your wheels with online dating and finally find your true love, then download her free online dating checklist and see how you stack up with your online dating profile.
This article was originally published at Coach Amy’s Blog. Reprinted with permission from the author.