When was the last time you received a love letter from a guy? Probably a long while ago, or never.
The problem for many men right now is that they’re just not falling in love anymore.
Will, they hit you up? Absolutely.
But, will they stay with you? Well, that’s becoming a problem. But, knowing why will be a game-changer for your love life.
Here are 3 reasons why many men aren’t falling in love anymore.
1. You have sex too soon.
Contrary to what some believe, men do not usually fall in love when they have sex. It does not, by itself, create intimacy. Rather, it exposes whether you have it or not.
Sex revolves around initial chemistry, which can go as fast as it comes. The illusion of closeness that sex can give you tends to mask the fact that on a deeper level, you really don’t know each other.
Friendship is often best built before sex enters a relationship.
In order for a man to fall in love with you, it’s helpful for him to get to know you as a human being first.
2. You don’t give him enough time.
Time gives you the opportunity to evaluate and gain insight into the man you’re dating. The journey of falling in love takes time.
Relationships are an investment of time and energy. When a man invests the time to get to know you as a human being, he begins to demonstrate his character.
Men are often way ahead of themselves. They will ask you to go on trips, have sex, and become their girlfriend way before they, themselves, are ready.
Slowing a man down is one of the best ways to give him the opportunity to fall in love with you. Encourage his enthusiasm but slow down his speed.
3. You don’t offer him friendship.
We are often lead to believe that friendship and love are two entirely different things. But are they? Can a man truly love you if he has not befriended you?
Does he make and keep his agreements? Does he demonstrate integrity in all aspects of his life? Does he treat you with concern, and care about your feelings?
When we underestimate the importance of falling in love with someone who demonstrates friendship, we’re often shocked when they leave abruptly.
It’s usually not a lack of chemistry that ends a poorly conceived relationship — it’s a lack of friendship.
Character is the lasting quality to look for, it’s demonstrated in a friendship and in a lover.
Sex, in itself, will not give you intimacy. In fact, people often avoid intimacy by having sex.
Time is what gives a man a runway to fall in love with you. When you understand this, it will change the trajectory of your love life.
Friendship is one of the biggest clues you’re falling in love with the right person. If you’re continually doubting the character and trustworthiness of a man you’re with, you’re usually with the wrong man.
Men fall in love when you require them to take the time to get to know you and building a friendship with you.
Friendship is foundational to your well-being and without it, men are not falling in love anymore.
James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought-after relationship coach for strong women based in Los Angeles who offers a free Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you’re a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, and tired of dating the wrong guys, connect with him via his calendar link to make finding time easy.
This article was originally published at jamesallenhanrahan.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.