When I was in the throes of my divorce, I remember telling my therapist that I thought my soon-to-be ex had hacked into my calendar. It seemed like almost immediately after every appointment, he’d send me a text or email with some new otherworldly level of bullsh*t designed to upset me. It always happened within minutes of my leaving the therapist’s office. My only explanation was that he was tracking my appointments and then, right when he thought I might be feeling good, deliberately did something to destroy my mood again. 

I may be wrong — it’s possible he just had supremely bad timing — but to this day, three years later, I still think it’s true. I have good reason to think so, too. He ended our marriage by randomly disappearing overnight to move in with his secret mistress while I was on a work trip.

And then he did everything in his power to make my life a living hell, during the divorce and for more than a year after. As to why I still have no idea; he got the divorce he wanted. But, given his past behavior, it only made sense he would have stooped to that level.

At first, I was really affected by his actions. Everything that happened catapulted me back into despair and mental anguish. He started out strong, too — after he disappeared, he filed for divorce but lied about his address on the paperwork. He lied again about his address on the divorce papers themselves.

He skipped court dates because he just “didn’t feel like coming.” Meanwhile, he was spreading hateful rumors about me online, threatening to steal my house from me, and then turning around to tell me he needed money for some doctor appointment, and maybe we could reconcile if I helped him out. I had never seen so much crap coming from one person. Ever. He could probably win an award for it.

RELATED: Exactly What Happens When You Leave A Toxic Relationship

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