You met a great guy, and now you don’t want to let him slip through your fingers. First, you’ll want to make sure you’re a good fit for each other.
Think of yourself as a colander and him as spaghetti — you don’t want him to slide through the bottom into the sink! So feel free to throw a noodle at the wall and see if it sticks.
If he’s a good fit and you want it to work out long-term, you’ll need to know how to keep a guy interested.
So how do you keep him on his toes? Follow the expert tips below to keep his attention on you and your relationship from going stale:
1. Don’t try to prove that you’re better than him.
If you are a CEO and founder of the hottest cupcake corporation, he won’t fall in love with you because your bank account or your success is bigger than his. If you’re a smarty-pants, you certainly should be proud of that fact and allow that side of you to shine, but you don’t need to wow him with your brain capacity.
You might be able to kick his butt in Scrabble, but most men don’t fall in love with a woman for her giant brain; they fall in love with her heart.
Instead, show him the full range of your amazing traits (just not all at once).
2. Stay a little mysterious and keep some things to yourself.
You don’t need to spell out every detail of the fun you had when you were in Guatemala in the summer of ’99 on a student exchange. You can, however, tell him how excited you are about your upcoming plans.
Dating isn’t about educating someone, it’s about connecting with a man on a different level. If you are all cerebral and no heart, that’s where he will stay too.
Do you really want him to focus on your brain and gossip, or something else? My vote is for something else — and it has everything to do with your essence.
3. Remember to keep things light and have fun as much as possible.
Lighten up! When you are dating a new guy, don’t forget to have fun while you’re getting to know each other. No Debbie Downers, please!
Look at the experience of getting to know someone through the eyes of a child. Remember what it was like to be a kid making mud pies or playing dress-up? You can forget the dirty business for now, but when you’re getting ready for your date with this new hottie, don’t forget to play dress up.
Take a bubble bath, put on some music, and make getting ready a pre-date with yourself. This way you will be feeling energized, beautiful and feminine when he picks you up.
4. Take time to spend with your friends — separately.
Don’t forget your friends. When love is in the air, sometimes you forget about the ones who’ve always had your back. Don’t diss your best friend and her annual candle party on Saturday night.
Every day doesn’t have to be spent with your new boyfriend. You can be with him on Friday and with your girlfriends the next day.
Men always like it when a woman’s world doesn’t revolve around theirs because there’s less pressure! Besides, he’s got to have a night to hang by himself or with his friends. So you might as well have fun, too.
5. Keep things smelling fresh — there’s nothing better than the scent of a woman.
Keep you and your place smelling tasty. Men love when a woman doesn’t smell like, well … like a man. I Googled “scents men like” and found that men like you to smell yummy — think vanilla, citrus, etc.
If you end up at your place, lighting some good-smelling candles is a good plan. When you fire up that chocolate chip cookie soy candle from the party, it will make him hungry … and not just for cookies.
6. Compliment other women.
If you are out and about with your boyfriend and he happens to let his eyes linger on a passing woman, you can chime in with an authentic, “She is so beautiful, isn’t she?” You can feel good about this because he’s made a choice to be there with you and not with her (or anyone else).
This will show him you are confident in yourself and you aren’t going to freak out if he finds another woman attractive. Men are wired to keep their eyes peeled for protection, and a beautiful woman just happened to walk by. It’s just his inner caveman coming out.
Don’t beat his natural instincts down with a club because there will be times when you will be more than happy to meet his inner caveman … probably behind closed doors.
7. Love yourself first — don’t bend over backwards for him.
If you have found yourself twisting yourself around trying to be someone you are not, just stop it! Without loving yourself, it’s really hard for you to let someone else love you.
Take a look at yourself every day and love yourself first. Do only what makes you feel good and it will help you feel solid in yourself and your new budding relationship.
8. Let go of past relationship baggage.
When you begin a new relationship, let the past be the past. Don’t let the ghosts of lovers and boyfriends past fill up your brain with garbage. That’s how to keep a guy interested.
If your last husband was a player and you imagine the new guy is the same way, it’s not going to be good for you, him, or the relationship. Put your baggage from old relationships in the dumpster and be sure to close the lid — and close it tight.
9. Believe in epic love.
Keeping him interested is easy to do if you believe in yourself and you believe in the power of love. If you don’t believe in yourself, you’ve got nothing. So trust yourself. Know that there is epic love waiting for you and it is just around the corner.
10. Text him like a guy.
This might seem like it won’t work but sometimes reciprocating how he texts you will keep him interested as you two might share the same texting habits and style of communication.
11. Allow yourself to be courted.
Courtship might be your answer when it comes to keeping a guy interested because you’re able to get to know him slowly, which could potentially cause the two of you to maybe fall in love as he spends more time with you.
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12. Keep him on his toes.
Don’t always be available to him. Try and be spontaneous when the two of you meet up and keep him on his toes by setting up a special date at home or making reservations at a cool new restaurant the two of you have been wanting to try.
Invite him over and surprise him with a romantic night of wine and lots of flirting to spice things up.
13. Show interest in his favorite things.
A man will always appreciate a woman compromising for him, even when it’s something they know you hate but are willing to try with him. That could be going on a hike with him, going to a book convention with him, or traveling together to his favorite city that he might be able to change your mind about.
14. Let him know you choose him.
Make your guy feel good about where he stands with you. Remind him every once and a while that you are so grateful that you chose him over any other guy that you could be seeing and reassure him that your relationship is stronger than ever and maybe even saying the big L word if you’re ready.
15. Have a life outside of your relationship.
If your partner spends more time outside your relationship than you do then that’s a sign you have to do the same as living a life that’s just not all about the main guy in your life is important.
Men also appreciate when a woman knows how to do that and doesn’t smother him in their relationship.
How do you keep a guy interested over text?
These days, a lot of our communication is done through texts and DMs.
It’s also hard to keep a man interested especially while texting, and sometimes you have to text like a dude to get the dude.
Even if changing the way you text might be out of your comfort zone, it’s worth a try and then you can see if he’s interested based on the way he texts you back.
The key in all of this is making a guy miss you — absence makes the heart grow fonder.
In order to make a guy miss you, you have to make him think about you all the time. There are many ways to do that but the one thing you have to understand is that it’s all about the chase and maintaining it to keep your man interested most likely in a long-term relationship.
A man absolutely loves when you both share your vulnerable side with each other and accept and support one another and soon you’ll be able to capture your man’s heart.
Dina Colada is an author, speaker, and dating coach who has appeared on sites like Prevention, Women’s Health, Plenty of Fish, and Zoosk. She specializes in helping single women navigate the modern world of online dating. Visit her website for more information.