A dating expert has claimed it’s pretty normal for a man to pay a woman’s bills because she’s attractive.
Dating guru Nadia Essex says there’s a whole section of society where this is the “norm” for people in relationships.
The expert, who has her own podcast – The Clueless Mum – made the comments after YouTuber Mikaela, who’s known by the screen name Pisces Finest claimed that an admirer pays her bills because she’s so attractive earlier this month.
Some didn’t agree with this though, saying women leave themselves vulnerable if they do this.
Others said women “couldn’t complain” if a man cheats if he’s giving her money and paying her bills.
Nadia, 39, said it’s fine for couples do this this though if it works for them.
She told Daily Star: “In relationships there isn’t right or wrong, if it works for you both then that’s great.
“There is a whole section of society where this is the norm.
“Frequent any posh London restaurant on a Thursday evening and everyone in there has this type of relationship.”
When asked if women leave themselves vulnerable if a man pays her bills, Nadia said they will be no matter what the financial situation is.
She explained: “Women are vulnerable if they do or do not let a man pay her bills. 50 years ago it was the standard that the woman were the homemakers and the men went to work and paid all the bills.
“We have moved on from this but we cannot judge women who still prefer this dynamic.
“If a man pays for a woman’s affection that’s when both parties are vulnerable.
“He knows she could bolt to someone else at any time. She knows he could cut off the money at any time…
“Having your own independence can help counteract this financial vulnerability but you may still get your heart broken even if you pay 50/50 on everything.”
Relationship expert and divorce coach Sandra Wood agreed, adding: “When women are first dating men, there are many options on how to approach letting a man pay for dates and simply because one partner is paying for dates, does not necessarily mean a woman is setting herself up to be vulnerable.”
Asked whether a man paying bills for women goes against feminism, both experts were clear that it wasn’t.
Nadia exclaimed: “Absolutely not. Feminism is about supporting women’s choices, whatever they may be.”
As Sandra added: “Ultimately, feminism is about having options and deciding what is right for each situation for women.
“Women do well when they have financial conversations early on in the relationship. Being empowered to make decisions and have agreements that feel fair and appropriate for the situation is the most ideal situation for any couple and does not leave women vulnerable. Ultimately, it’s about having the freedom of choice.”
When it comes to reasons why men would pay all the bills, Nadia said that a lot of men enjoy the “pride” that comes with it.
She commented: “Most men who earn a lot of money and pay the bills of their partner enjoy it. There is a sense of pride they can provide.
“I know plenty of women who earn 6 figures but their husbands don’t let them pay for a thing because they both feel it’s romantic.”
However, she admitted that a lot of men can’t handle it if women pay all the bills instead.
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Nadia added: “Unfortunately many men are still less emotionally mature than women. A lot of men feel emasculated if the women earns more, let alone actually pays the bills.
“Luckily men are evolving and toxic masculinity is becoming less but it’s still rife amongst ‘locker room chat’ type men.
Sandra also warned some women may pay all the bills if they’re insecure about their relationship.
She said: “In some cases, women may be being taken advantage of, perhaps holding on to an unhealthy relationship through fear that she won’t find another partner.
“For women who pay all the bills, it is particularly important to really investigate the “why” of the relationship and ensure that she is being supported in ways that keep her best interests at heart.”