I like to think I understand the male species fairly well.
Raised by a single father and surrounded by my brother in his squad of 10+ best friends at all times growing up, I have learned some of the inside secrets that the male brain operates with.
I’m here to give you some hard truth on if that guy you’ve been Tindering (or bumbling, sexting, insta-messaging, etc.) is really into you or not:
1. He only messages you after dark.
You know the old saying from Ted Mosby’s mom “Nothing good happens after 2 am.”
Well, no text from a guy after 12 am means he wants to have a deep emotional conversation and get to know you for you. Sorry girl, all he wants is for his bed to not be a little less lonely for the night.
2. You don’t spend the night at each others’ place.
To piggyback off the previous one, if you do happen to go over there and have a wonderful night of “conversation” and he then, in an all too sweet way, asks you if he can call you an Uber, or if you’re at your place and he dips out? Let me tell you, you just got classically douched.
3. You make all of the efforts.
Guys don’t think in the spider web process that we girls do. If that dude is really into you, he will make sure you know.
He will text you, he will call, he will ask you on a date, plain and simple. If he isn’t doing that then it’s time for you to put on some red lipstick, go out to the bar and find yourself a new guy.
4. He’s said he’s not ready for a relationship.
If he says any of the following cringe-worthy statements; “Not ready for a relationship” “Not looking for anything serious” “Don’t want you to fall in love with me” run like the hills because he is not trying to be cute and act like he’s an emotionally scarred sheep you’re there to fix.
It means he really REALLY isn’t looking for a relationship, and nothing you do will change it.
5. There’s no eye contact or touching.
When a guy is into you he will stare you down and he will take any opportunity to make physical contact.
If there is enough space between you two for an elephant to fit there and he keeps making googly eyes at the bartender, then he is really not interested.
6. He ghosted you.
Ah, the classic dilemma that is sweeping our generation.
Girl, if you hooked up and that boy never ever responds to anything you send him then please delete his number (no don’t block it because your drunk self can very well undo that) delete it and move on.
No, his phone didn’t fall into a toilet and break. He just doesn’t care.
7. You don’t know anything about his friends.
Haven’t you been graced with meeting any of his friends?
This one here is a sneaky but huge red flag on if he’s into you or not. If he’s not dying to show you off to all of his friends then he is using you. No guy wants to keep a girl he’s obsessed with a secret, he will want to show you off like a pony.
8. You don’t have any alone time.
On the contrary, if he never wants to spend time alone with you and only agrees to hang out with you in a group setting, then he isn’t interested.
There needs to be a happy medium of alone time and group time. If he leans way too far to either side then something is up.
9. He’s emotionally distant and doesn’t listen to you.
Do you ever find yourself repeating the same information to your guy that you’ve told him over and over?
When your crush is really into you he will listen and remember your hilarious story about how your BFF told off an old lady on Valentine’s Day, if he doesn’t that means he’s is not investing in you and doesn’t see you in his long-term plans.
10. He constantly talks about other girls.
Do you notice that he is always talking about that girl Carly that he works with, and always saying that she did the funniest thing ever today?
Well, if he feels he can talk about pretty much every other girl in the world to you then he probably isn’t interested in you. If he was all eyes on you he would be telling YOU how funny you are, not how funny Carly is.
Well ladies, please keep your heads held high and if a guy is doing any of these things to you then please take the L and let him go.
Don’t go trying to change him, or convince him that you’re worth it because a real guy won’t need to be convinced of how great you are, he will know it. I’m sure I will have a follow-up article with many more ways to tell if he is into you, so keep your eyes open for it.
P.S. I would like to dedicate this article to my best friends and contributing authors whose sacrifices in the dating world made this article possible.
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This article was originally published at Thought Catalog. Reprinted with permission from the author.