Do you have friends who are coupled who constantly post on Facebook? Do you see their pictures regularly blasted on your feed? Do you sometimes think WTF?
I want to preface what follows by saying I think it’s great when two people share their love through pictures. We should all celebrate genuine affection. In many ways, photo-documenting helps to memorialize important moments in a relationship. Examples include weddings, anniversaries, vacations, family events, and special occasions.
That said, that’s not what this post is about. Instead, I’m talking about couples who think it’s their duty to share virtually every single moment of their waking lives on Facebook. On the other hand, there’s a reason why happy couples don’t use Facebook.
To my mind, there are basically three ways relationships appear on social media and they’re usually bad.
1. Trashy types
These are the cringe-worthy couples who create “updates” with shaming in mind. The goal is to air dirty laundry in public and let others comment. To be extra nasty, one of the duos might even use the @ sign directed at a significant other.
Example: Another birthday has passed and my husband didn’t get me a gift. @johndoe
Whenever I see this kind of post, it makes me think the person doesn’t give one hoot about their spouse. All that update really does is shame the other person.
Want to know what a stable, secure couple does? They discuss the issue in private and process their feelings away from the public eye. Using social media to embarrass and hurt isn’t even an option.
2. “Look at us” types
You’ve seen these couples before. They’re the ones who can’t help but upload pictures of everything they do. I’m not talking about those special occasions I mentioned earlier. Instead, I’m speaking about the folks who feel compelled to Robo-blast minutia. Examples include food-selfies, getting on a plane, walking through a park, or hanging with friends.
Honestly, what on earth are you trying to prove? Couples who do this paradoxically send an unintended message. Curious what it is? Here it goes: We’re an insecure couple that’s not relationship-ready.
I’m sorry to say that, but it’s true. Stable couples don’t need to prove anything to anyone. Their romantic bond isn’t dependent upon the number of “likes” they get from friends, which is why happy couples don’t use Facebook. Real memories that last a lifetime should live in the heart, not on your newsfeed.
3. Fake types
Similar to the “Look at us” types, the fakers are the ones who aren’t really in love at all. Instead, they’re the pair who want to make everyone else jealous by purposely staging snapshots. The goal? To get everyone to think their lives are amazing while yours sucks. Sound familiar? You know it does!
Here’s what they don’t know: anyone who sees those kinds of pictures instinctively knows that couple is full of it! No duo is happy 24/7, ever. If they are, I sure would like to know what they are smoking.
Happy couples who enjoy one another’s company don’t put on social media shows. They realize when they air private moments via technology, it cheapens their love and relationship.
Here’s the real deal: Strong, healthy couples don’t spend time on Facebook. Instead, they love being with each other, away from the public eye.
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Dr. John Moore infuses current events and pop culture into his posts as a way of communicating wider points on issues related to wellness and goal attainment. For more, visit Guy Counseling on Facebook.
This article was originally published at Psych Central. Reprinted with permission from the author.