Everyone deserves a fair shake, and sometimes that includes letting him have another try on a second date.
But there are certain first-date behaviors that should never be overlooked and are almost always signs of bad things to come.
A first date is, for most people, the first time they’re meeting this person.
It’s understandable to be nervous and a little shy and those things can be forgiven, but if they keep acting intolerable, it may be just because they’re intolerable and you should run for the hills.
Here are first-date dealbreakers that you should never, ever overlook:
1. He’s rude to the wait staff
How he treats other people—especially people he doesn’t know—is a great indicator of the level of kindness and respect he’ll show you down the road. After all, as author Dave Barry says, “A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person.”
2. He’s critical of your food choice
So what that you think french fries and a milkshake make a complete meal? On a first date, there’s no place for verbal judgment that only serves to make you uncomfortable as you wait for the check. No one has the right to judge you for what you eat, especially some random guy.
3. He can’t stop gabbing about his ex
If she sounds so lovely you can’t quite tell why they called it quits, consider it a serious red flag he’s still got it bad or isn’t ready to get it on with you. Likewise, if he’s ragging on her, it’s a sign of immaturity on top of all of that.
4. His phone is way more interesting than you
As Stephanie Tanner would say, “How rude!” Unless your date’s been interrupted by a real emergency text—not a fake bad date escape plan—the only thing he should be staring at is you.
5. He’s late—without a valid excuse
Car trouble? Totally understandable. But if he “lost track of the time,” that’s a clear sign he doesn’t value yours.
6. His table manners? Nonexistent
If you can’t picture bringing home a guy who eats a chicken breast with his bare hands to Mom and Dad, where, exactly, could this relationship be headed?
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7. He’s too busy talking about himself to ask about you
Self-absorption is so not sexy. If a first date’s all about getting to know one another and yet you feel as if you’re sitting through a presentation, sound the alarm and move on.
Jillian Kramer is a freelance writer who focuses on relationships and love advice, and women’s health and wellness.
This article was originally published at Glamour. Reprinted with permission from the author.