Do you have a hard time knowing how to meet men? Do you even know how to get a guy to like you or how to flirt with him once you get his attention?
Does it seem like you never like anyone, or worse — do you clam up and lose whatever charm or personality you have when you do like someone, making you about as attractive as wallpaper?
And then, you’re your most playful, adorable, and funny self with the ones you’re not interested in, making them just worship you.
Isn’t that the worst?
So, where do you go to learn how to meet men you could actually like? And how can you get more comfortable with them, so you can figure out how to get a guy to like you without ruining your chances of finding true love?
I can tell you, but the answer will be shocking, so brace yourself.
You can meet good men anywhere
All you have to do is say, “Hello!”
I’m not kidding. They’re at the grocery store, the laundry mat, your neighborhood coffee shop, at the hardware store, the driving range, your gym, and everywhere in between.
Now, that’s not the shocking part. The shocking part is that they’re lonely, and they’re looking to you for a signal that it’s okay to approach them.
That’s ultimately what men want when it comes to love and dating.
Knowing this secret will dramatically improve your odds of finding the right man for you and learning how to get a guy to like you.
Men are lonely, too
Odds are, that cute stranger you see at your grocery store, gym, or coffee shop didn’t grow up in the area in which he now lives. He likely didn’t go to college there, either. And his family of origin is probably not nearby.
In other words, the people he’s closest to in the world — his childhood friends, his school buddies, and his siblings and parents — are likely not in his daily life.
But wait, there’s more.
He might work crazy long hours, allowing little time for a personal life thanks to how expensive modern life is. This is especially true if he’s American since Americans work more hours with less time off than anywhere in the world.
And let’s not forget: He’s a man.
So, society says he must live up to an outmoded, unhealthy masculine ideal. Many people are so homophobic that men can’t hold hands with anyone unless it’s romantic, they do not kiss other men (unless they’re not attracted to women), and they don’t share deep, secrets with each other until something’s really a big deal.
Many women connect with everyone everywhere they go, talk to their friends all the time, tell everyone everything, and can be snuggly with other women and friends without it being construed as sexual. Thus, women are not lonely in the same way men are.
Men want you to turn the table — and make an approach
So, when you’re learning how to get a guy to like you, do not clam up and get all shy to the point of fading into the scenery the next time you see a man you like, because he’s just dying for you to say hello!
Furthermore, here’s the rest of the deal: Men are cultivated to approach women. They’re “supposed” to do all the pursuing.
So, since kindergarten, they’ve known that if they like a girl they have to do something about it. They have to walk her home, ask her to go steady, or cross a crowded room in front of all of their friends and ask her to dance. Gulp!
Look for the story behind the smile
So, what happened to the average man by the time you trip over him out in the world? He’s been rejected by women … a lot of them!
Hence, he’s learned from painful experiences not to approach women unless he knows they want him to.
So, unless he’s a cocky bad boy, he’ll look for some sort of cue from you that you’re not going to kick him to the curb again.
And if you’re hot (which you are), and you’re not sending him signals, he’ll instantly assume that you’re taken. He’ll think: “A woman like that must be with someone,” and he’ll do nothing.
Start the conversation yourself
So, what can you do to stop the madness? It’s so simple, but it’s the opposite of what you’ve been doing.
All you have to do is start talking to men everywhere you go! Say anything, and they’ll be grateful!
Say hello, compliment his shoes, comment on the weather, ask for the time, whine about gas prices, ask him for an opinion, ask for directions — the options are endless!
You don’t have to say something brilliant, or even funny or impressive. You just have to say something.
If he’s not interested — or his girlfriend is five feet away — then he may not say much back.
It’s you who may feel rejected by him. Don’t let that prevent you from talking to other men because the next guy will be nice back.
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Or the guy after him, or the guy after him.
And one day, when you say something to that interesting stranger, he’ll smile and light up. And the next thing you know, you’re having a conversation, and the next thing you know you’re laughing and getting along great, and the next thing you know, you’re dating, then you’re married!
It won’t happen by magic
Best of all, if you’re talking to men all the time everywhere you go, when you see the guy you like you’ll be so comfortable you won’t suddenly lose your entire personality — you’ll have developed all those “talking to men” muscles so it’ll be easy.
You’ll be your most fabulous, charming, dynamic self, and he’ll love it.
You might think it’s not that easy or that it won’t work for you, but try it before you knock it! It can be difficult at first to talk to people in public, but it will get easier with time.
So, if you’re single and not meeting anyone you like, then it’s probably the main reason for you, too, and this one small change will be the difference between you being home alone on Friday and Saturday nights or being quickly swept off your feet by a wonderful guy.
Women who end up happily married don’t do so by accident — they make a big effort to find love and treat this part of their lives like it’s a job.
Stop believing in the lie that love is supposed to happen “as if by magic,” or “when you’re not looking” — start doing what it takes to make it happen for you.
Carol Allen is a relationship coach, Vedic astrologer, and former radio show host. In her more than 20 years as a coach, she has helped thousands of women create loving, connected and satisfying relationships.